The below content is only for those who dont care about "references" go away if too young!(thanks <3)
two questions.
- michaeld20
- Posts: 810
- Joined: 31 Dec 2010, 19:39
- Location: Central New Jersey
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two questions.
1.Was this in ANY way related to me?(ive asked for advice alot from you guys <3)
The below content is only for those who dont care about "references" go away if too young!(thanks <3)
The below content is only for those who dont care about "references" go away if too young!(thanks <3)
Spoiler! :
Re: two questions.
If these people want to "do things" together, what's the problem?
I'm confused, was there more context to this that I'm missing?
I'm confused, was there more context to this that I'm missing?
The staff here are all trolls
Re: two questions.
I think the important part, Jake, is that he made them "do things." If I'm catching the right drift, that means they were non-consensual.
My advice is just to tell her. It's something she ought to know. Be sure to have some way to back up what you know, otherwise she may accuse you of making up stuff due to jealousy. Most importantly, you need to accept the fact that she might hate you for a while as she gets a grip on what you told her. Just keep in mind that she'll likely thank you in the end.
My advice is just to tell her. It's something she ought to know. Be sure to have some way to back up what you know, otherwise she may accuse you of making up stuff due to jealousy. Most importantly, you need to accept the fact that she might hate you for a while as she gets a grip on what you told her. Just keep in mind that she'll likely thank you in the end.
Re: two questions.
Okay can we stop tip-toeing around here? Are we talking about rape/sexual assualt? If so then absolutely you should tell her, she deserves to know what she's getting into, and the police too if they aren't already informed.
The way you phrased things, to me, implied something less serious.
The way you phrased things, to me, implied something less serious.
The staff here are all trolls
Re: two questions.
The way I understand it the bigger problem is not the situation itself but rather how to get the information across.
I'm guessing you don't want her to accuse you of jealousy (which sounds plausible) and thus not listen to you.
I'd say this depends on what your stance is with her. Do you guys hang out? Are you even in touch at all? What does "had a thing for her" mean, were the two of you together or not? Let me put it this way - if you're getting along fine friendship-wise then it shouldn't be a problem if you told her in person.
Either way, whatever it is that boy does, I don't think you're the only one who's heard it about this guy. And you probably have one or another friend in common. Have -them- tell her, maybe? If this dude is so bad for her, you shouldn't have too much trouble getting someone to drop that line.
If someone has already mentioned this guy's bad behavior to her, you can fall in and shouldn't seem as jealous as if you just told her by yourself.
However, and this is important - if that doesn't work out and she still decides to be with this guy, you need to decide whether you're a good friend or not. Because if you are, you won't pressure her, even if you are right and you are just worried. Trying to force her would just backfire. Sometimes, people just need to make bad decisions to learn from them. A good friend is there when you realize that all you did went to crap.
(Don't get your hopes up about getting something out of this for yourself, though. "Saving" a girl like that and you getting her affection instead of him basically only works in the movies.)
Another thing. In the beginning I assumed you were older, I had to look up your age in your profile. You should realize that my advice for you is different from the advice I'd give someone five years older.
I'm guessing you don't want her to accuse you of jealousy (which sounds plausible) and thus not listen to you.
I'd say this depends on what your stance is with her. Do you guys hang out? Are you even in touch at all? What does "had a thing for her" mean, were the two of you together or not? Let me put it this way - if you're getting along fine friendship-wise then it shouldn't be a problem if you told her in person.
Either way, whatever it is that boy does, I don't think you're the only one who's heard it about this guy. And you probably have one or another friend in common. Have -them- tell her, maybe? If this dude is so bad for her, you shouldn't have too much trouble getting someone to drop that line.
If someone has already mentioned this guy's bad behavior to her, you can fall in and shouldn't seem as jealous as if you just told her by yourself.
However, and this is important - if that doesn't work out and she still decides to be with this guy, you need to decide whether you're a good friend or not. Because if you are, you won't pressure her, even if you are right and you are just worried. Trying to force her would just backfire. Sometimes, people just need to make bad decisions to learn from them. A good friend is there when you realize that all you did went to crap.
(Don't get your hopes up about getting something out of this for yourself, though. "Saving" a girl like that and you getting her affection instead of him basically only works in the movies.)
Another thing. In the beginning I assumed you were older, I had to look up your age in your profile. You should realize that my advice for you is different from the advice I'd give someone five years older.
"Wollt ihr 'n Hut? Nur Mut, 'n Hut tut gut!"
- Blackadder51
- Retired
- Posts: 2274
- Joined: 29 Oct 2010, 11:22
- Location: Australia
Re: two questions.
1: Nah me and ninja were talking, somehow it came up and we both relised that it would be a good idea.
2: How good friends are you with this chick? If you more of an acquaintance then friend I would not get involved. It can and will backfire. If you are besties tell her but i wouldnt mention the fact you dig her.
Keep in mind, if you were older the situation would be different. Also more info on what the "bad things" would be good, but all in go with you gut feeling.
2: How good friends are you with this chick? If you more of an acquaintance then friend I would not get involved. It can and will backfire. If you are besties tell her but i wouldnt mention the fact you dig her.
Keep in mind, if you were older the situation would be different. Also more info on what the "bad things" would be good, but all in go with you gut feeling.
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- SneakyPie
- Kind of a Big Deal
- Posts: 3134
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Re: two questions.
This is an important question.Jake55778 wrote:Okay can we stop tip-toeing around here? Are we talking about rape/sexual assualt? If so then absolutely you should tell her, she deserves to know what she's getting into, and the police too if they aren't already informed.
The way you phrased things, to me, implied something less serious.
- michaeld20
- Posts: 810
- Joined: 31 Dec 2010, 19:39
- Location: Central New Jersey
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Re: two questions.
Its more like pressure. well ive got all i need guys, thanks <3
- Lord_Mountbatten
- The Future
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Re: two questions.
Get everyone to follow my usual advice. It will help.
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